So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
