just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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