dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
It's rum buckets o'clock
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
