I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
