I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.