Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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