you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize
