guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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