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wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
if only i could text you this smell
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
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