Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...