and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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