I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official drugs can't kill me
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize