when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Randomize
