you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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