i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Randomize