Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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