There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
