I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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