Dual....:-)
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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