If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
