you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
