I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
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