They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
