Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
