Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
