So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
