Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
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