You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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