i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
