I think i peed on brittanys purse
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
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you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
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You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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