Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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