So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Randomize
