i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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