You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
