So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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