guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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