i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
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