i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
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he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
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I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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