I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
this is an emotional support booty call
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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