Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
