I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
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