she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
