I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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