he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
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she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
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Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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