vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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