Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
