I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.