Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.