I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.