oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
