This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Randomize