You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize