i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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