I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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