Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
