Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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