His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
