I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
