We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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