You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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