It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
