"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
