Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
