Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize