wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
