Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
